I impatiently waited my place in the queue, and then at last my time had come. Encouraged by our leader Gladys I leapt on the scales. She fiddled with the weights before (almost) announcing the words I had been waiting to hear.
‘Well done John, you’ve lost another kilo and a half – that’s 84 kilos you are now. Well done!’ I was elated.
‘Well, that’s it Gladys. That’s my goal weight – ‘
‘Oh no, John, that´s only a guide to start with.’ She consulted her chart. ‘Right, then: your Goal Weight is 76 kilos. Hey, only eight to go, John!´
´Eight kilos? That’s nearly an armful!’. I cracked the old Tony Hancock Blood Donor joke and Gladys roared with laughter. She was a star, one of the funniest women I’ve ever met. Our Weight Watchers lecturer hailed from Northern Ireland, regularly coming out with hilarious things. She would hold up a big fruitcake and say:
´Now – who likes baking?´A few doubtful nods. ´Ah, to be sure who can be bothered wit’ all that´… and she would launch into a diatribe * about the unnecessary and unwelcome effects of home baking on the waistline.
I had gone with my wife to the local WW class here in Spain – but I was the only man in a 25 strong group. I actually found the ‘dieting’ – if you could call it that – very easy, not like before in my previous marriage. Then I was married to a serial * dieter (lived on Corn Flakes and Shredded Wheat), but that one could tell you the calorific value of a blade of grass. In those days I was still drinking, but now having put down my pint for good I was able to concentrate on the subject – and combining this with a little exercise the kilos fell away. For the only time in my life I becameTeacher’s Pet. Often at the end of the initial traumatic-for-some weighing-in after everyone was seated Gladys would announce loudly:
´OK everyone- let’s congratulate the Slimmer of the Week, it´s John – again! (chorus of “boo, fix, creep´etc). My new friend Gladys would always ask me how I’d done it, to which I would always reply:
‘We-ell, it was easy really. I just turn up at the table, and eat the delicious meals my lovely wife has cooked for us´. As it happened, my wife herself was a model Weight Watcher, almost always losing the recommended amount every week, steadily moving towards her goal weight – but being a man I lost it quicker, much to everyone else’s irritation.
The wonderful Gladys made me howl, encouraging us all the way with great stories about her eating problems pre-Weight Watchers – like how she always looked forward to Saturday nights,when her musician husband was sure to be out. The fridge was always well stocked ready for an unobserved naughty binge in front of the TV. But one night his gig was abruptly cancelled: he was cross and poor old Gladys hadn’t even got started, so a miserable night in was shared by all.
One large weight-struggling lady often sat glassy-eyed amongst us, and when Gladys quizzed her one week about her non-existent weight loss she replied morosely:
´Hmm… well, it’s a good job there’s no calories in gin!´
‘What?’ shrieked Gladys. ‘Whoever gave you that idea? No wonder you’re not losing weight!´ The poor woman looked very embarrassed.
At long last my big day arrived. It had taken me five months, with a cruise holiday in between when I’d predictably gone off the rails – not literally – and had a minor setback, but I weighed in that great day smack on 76 kilos – I hadn’t been that light since my late teens.
Gladys, bless her, acted as though l’d won a Gold Medal at the Olympics as she presented me with my lifetime membership. I carried on going for a few weeks to show support for my lovely wife who then also triumphantly made it, so we duly shared the whole experience together.
We still laugh today about that eventful period and sometimes bump into people we met on the course – and share a laugh while eying each others waistlines….
If you’ve ever been to Weight Watchers you will know that it doesn’t teach you about dieting at all, merely a new weigh * of living: a new approach to eating and food that sets you up in life to learn and instinctively know what’s good – and what’s bad for you.
Now – the 64,000 calorie question: did I keep the weight off? Well, I admit, I have put a little back on, but as people had told me I looked quite gaunt at the time of hitting my goal weight, a few kilos back didn’t reallv matter.
These days I’m usually just around the 85 kilos mark -OK, well over my goal weight -but when you consider I started off at 95 kilos, that means I shifted nearly three stone of blubber in real money -and I haven’t put all that back on.
That is all down to WeightWatchers and my lovely friend Gladys. She who made me laugh a lot along the weigh * at the time and taught me all those good habits. I’m Glad she did!
*sorry about the puns, couldn´t resist them!
