A gnome — stop me if you’ve heard this before — is a short statement encapsulating a general truth. Gnomes are maxims, and nothing to do with a restaurant in Paris. Growing older, one knows more but understands less.
Groucho Marx famously said he didn’t want to belong to any club that would welcome him as a member, and these days some of us will have our own ideas as to what that club might be. The human race? The Covid deniers? The global warming disbelievers? Those who mock the moon landing? Scoffers who don’t consider the food in Maxim’s is almost worth its outrageous price?
There are even some misguided souls who don’t accept that Mars, the “Red Planet”, was once blue. But it was — I’ve checked, twice.
How do we know what to believe nowadays, in the age of fake news — which, to be fair, is often more convincing than fake tans — and more customer platforms than a multitude of double-decker buses? Eyes fixed on our mobile phone apps as we pound the pavements, no wonder we walk into so many lamp posts which fail to illuminate our way ahead. In the daytime, at least.
But fear not, help is at hand. Animal researchers (consulting their apes, perhaps) have come up with a concept called ‘Learning without Thinking’, how difficult can that be to master? Considering it is what most of us have spent our whole lives doing.
“One way to absorb new information,” states their leaflet (leaflet!) “is to actually not focus your attention at all.” Crikey, is it as easy as that? I gave up at Step 2: “Aspiring pilots, after one hour, can…” I’ve sent back my Frequent Flyer air miles.
Startlingly, the writer of this pamphlet appeared to be amazingly satisfied with his own handiwork. He managed to give the impression that he was pleased as Punch — or at least, Punch with a hangover, who had just walked into a lamp post. But then, I suppose, if we were to take his thesis (thesis!) to the logical (logical!) conclusion, by not thinking about anything, we can learn everything! Abracadabra. And mumbo jumbo.
Little wonder that sometimes we can’t see the wood for the trees. Which, as maxims go, is just a common or garden gnome, I suppose. But what do I know, I haven’t been paying attention.
