I wonder how many of you, dear readers get so wrapped up in a captivating TV drama to the extent that you hate the thoughts of it coming to an end. This column is in such throes at the moment. A bit like the txt I got from my late great friend, Mickie Duffy after he took my book, ‘If Ever a man Suffered’ with him on holiday to Portugal. This is Mickie’s message verbatim – apart from one word I cannot use in this respectable newspaper: “This book is like a really good r**e that you just don’t want to end!”
I digress and let’s stick to what we started, an addictive TV drama. ‘Downton Abbey’ did it for me – especially on account of ‘Lady Mary’ being a Westmeath woman. ‘Coronation Street’ does it for Mrs Youcantbeserious, but unfortunately – and to the detriment of marital harmony, ‘Corrie’ has the opposite effect on me. I treat the signature tune the same as I would a fire alarm and get out of there as quickly as possible.
Now where was I? Ah yes, I am currently so hooked on an ongoing TV series, that I know I shall suffer the most dreadful of withdrawal symptoms if the curtains ever come down. It started off with the intention of being a mini-series, but took on a life of its own and thankfully now looks like it will run and run … and run!
Either way, it will have to end sometime, and the worry is there. For the time being, I am riveted, transfixed and staring at the large TV screen in a hypnotic-like trance – but what in the name of God shall I do with myself if this Brexit series ever ends? Yes, my friends, BREXIT – one of the longest running drama/comedy shows of our lifetime. Who would ever have thought that it would have been such a hit? Luckily for us Brexit junkies, there does not seem any avenue whereby the script writer can bring the final episode to a credible or natural conclusion. It is set to run, and run … and run!
I know there are actual people out there who get bored by Brexit, but let me tell you this; not Bernie! If those same people were on board another disaster, the Titanic, they would be bored by the length of time it took her to sink.
OK, so anybody away on a spacecraft for the past six months and looking in on the Brexit saga for the first time, would say that the series is way too farfetched and that the characters bear little resemblance to real people. But isn’t that what soaps are about? So what, if they keep on throwing in side-plots to drag the thing out; isn’t that what blockbusters do? Yes, the storylines may be less real than Coronation Street, but the Corrie characters don’t have to make it up as they go along.
Brexit is better for having no good-old-common-sense people on board. Isn’t television there for our entertainment after all? The main character, John Bercow, seems to be the only actor who knows his lines. Most of the others don’t remember; and in fact contradict what they said in previous episodes. Leading actors, pitched in serious roles, demonstrate total ignorance of the plot or of its frightening consequences. It is all about the actors – which makes for great TV viewing – without any regard for the price to be paid down the road. The fact that things were grand before Brexit is left littered on the cutting room floor.
The main focus of the entire series is talk about the border between the UK and the EU. This conundrum tests the elasticity of the script writer’s imagination and the fact that the border in question is right across the middle of someone’s else’s country is … shall we say, challenging!
This column suggests there should be a ‘Christmas Brexit Special Extravaganza’ on TV. Santa Claus could come on stage and give everybody everything they asked for. This is what can happen on far-fetched TV shows. Contradictions are for the fairies!
As for me, all I hope is that the Brexit TV show rolls on into the New Year and keeps me entertained over these long winter evenings.
As a man said to me onetime; ‘I haven’t lost until I cash in’ And Brexit hasn’t cashed in yet!
One concern I do have is that someone knows something and will spoil my suspense by telling me how it’s going to finish. If you know anything …. Please don’t tell me!!
Don’t Forget
An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
